my biggest wonder is when; when will you make your grand debut?
are you going to be born in december, like we've planned? our christmas elf?
or maybe at the end of november, tiny turkey?
are you going to come 2 weeks late, on christmas day?
are you going to come fast and furious, the way babies do in the movies, and we'll have to pull over on the side of the highway and deliver you in the back seat of the outlander? (not the acura, we don't want to make daddy cry. although the leather seats would make for an easy clean-up. and we could even turn on the seat warmers, because its going to be cold. now that i think about it, this really isn't such a horrible plan b.)
or are you going to take your sweet time and leisurely stretch out our labor over the course of a couple of days? (i'd prefer to not go this route.)
are you going to dramatically wake us up in the middle of the night to announce your impending arrival?
or will i just be doing something mundane like washing the dishes or walking the dogs when you set off the jack signal? (its like the bat signal, but instead of a bat, it'll be in the shape of your cute little face.)
how will i even know when you're ready?
i'm new at this, so will you just give me some kind of sign? kthanks.
your dad is the planner of the family, so normally i wouldn't really care about this kind of thing, but you've kind of changed the way i handle things. you're making me feel the need to be all responsible and over-analytical, like a mom. its just so strange... if you knew me at this time last year, you would definitely notice a difference. in fact, one year ago today, your dad and i were playing bar golf on 6th street with our friends, and i'm pretty sure we were behaving the exact opposite of responsible and were incapable of even analyzing the late-night menu at whataburger. tonight, one year later, i spent the evening folding laundry and putting away the shoes your dad and i have strewn about the house. i really hope you are better at picking up after yourself than we are. anyhoo, i digress...so, basically you're making me all mom-ish. and that's okay, because moms get to have sweet children to hold and love and dream with.
sometimes i distract myself from thinking about the logistics of your arrival by daydreaming about you, the person. jack davis wooderson, human being extraordinaire. i still can't believe there's going to be a whole new life in this world that didn't exist before. your daddy and i were shocked when we found out you were coming, and now, even 8 months later, i still haven't fully wrapped my brain around the idea of you.
its fun to imagine what you look like, mainly because i've already seen you in my dreams, baby. you have blonde wispy curls on your sweet little head, and you have a darling little pixie profile. and a chunky double chin (don't worry, you'll grow out of them. except for when you laugh, then like 234098 chins will magically appear and make you all un-photogenic, just like me. but its okay, it'll give you character.) your dad saw you in his dreams too, but you were a toddler. i have a feeling toddler jack is pretty adorable too.
sometimes, after i've exhausted all the wonderings about you and your arrival and your life/our lives in the more immediate future, i like to think about the long haul. your personality, your strengths, your weaknesses, your dreams, your plans, your impact on the whole wide world. i wonder if you'll be outspoken or shy, silly or quite serious, a protective big brother or a laid-back soul without a worry in the world. i wonder if your dad and i will be successful in raising you to be the loving, kind, caring, intelligent, thoughtful, individual we dream about. i wonder if you'll find your purpose in life early on, or if you'll be a 45 year old man who still doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. i wonder if you too will be awake at 2:43 am one morning, just thinking about your little son or daughter, and what their life will be like.
i am so in love with you, sweet jack, even though we've hardly met. you're going to be such a blessing in our lives, and in the lives of all our family and friends. they're pretty head-over-heels in love with you too, and they haven't even been carrying you around for 8 months. no pressure...i know we'll all love you just the way you are, and just the way god created you to be. aren't you lucky?
i'll be seeing you soon, jack.
love,
your momma
